ODDREE.COM

A Popped Grape

A few years ago, I worked with a guy named Dean. Nice guy, worked as a saleman for our company. Unfortunately, he never sold anything, and he liked to look at porn on the clock. But that's a whole different story. Dean had high blood pressure. On some days his face was all red and he would shake a little bit. He would joke with me about it, and say things like "the Deansters going to just pop", or "I feel like a grape getting ready to be popped". And he looked that way too.

I know nothing about high blood pressure, other than I seem to have a case of it. It started with me feeling really strange, and getting red in the face. My chest would ache, I felt very tense, and I just suddenly realized, "I was a grape!". A couple of times I was asked "why is your face all red?". So I did what any concerned person would. I went to the grocery store and stuck my arm in one of those machines that check your weight and blood pressure. The first time I tried it I was in teh very high normal range. No sweat. But I wasn't really 'feeling it' at the time. A few days later, I was feeling like 'the grape', and I was at the grocery, so I gave it another shot. I don't know what "Hypertensive" means exactly, but it was flashing red with all sorts of warnings so I know that's not good.

So what the hell causes high blood pressure?

• Diet - Too much fat, not enough veggies.
  
• Excercise - Stand up once in a while and walk around.
  
• Stress - Get a new job.

That seems to be about the right order too. Which tells me I need to eat better, and just chill out.

Anyhow, I love thanksgiving. This is a bad time to think about 'eating better', because I have been eating like a fucking pig. You're supposed to this time of year right? Just half an hour ago I stuffed a turkey into the oven for dinner tonight. He is a healthy 20 pounder. We will be enjoying him with sides of stuffing, sweet potato caserole, and possibly some mashed potatoes. Yum.

Well ... about time to rotate and baste that turkey.

Historic Comments
You're a hard man to find an email address for. Email me!
Zachary Miller | Homepage | 07.22.05 - 7:15 am | #

Also, I guess I could post it to you. That might help. znmiller at sbcglobal dot net
Zachary Miller | Homepage | 07.22.05 - 7:16 am | #