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Deformo-Lad

A month or two ago there was huge neiborhood-wide garage sale. We decided to unload some junk and make a few bucks. I could see early on in the sale that nobody would be wanting to buy my gigantic old tower PC's. SO I pushed one out onto the curb with a sign on it, "FREE!".

After a few hours a kid came up into my garage picking over my computer shit. He lives across the street from me in this tiny house which is occupied by countless children. As far as I know, all of the kids are adopted. This particular kid has some sort of deformity, and he rides the short bus to school. He wanted an old server that I was selling, and he started counting out his change to buy it. I let him know he could have this particular piece of shit free of charge. Thats the kind of guy I am.

I was so nice, I even went downstairs and got him a keyboard, mouse, and a power cord for his new toy. A short while later he returned and asked if I had anything else, because my broken piece of shit seemed to be missing parts. So I directed him to the other tower at the curb ... the one marked "Free". He took it home, and later brought it back to my curb. I guess he didn't like that one either.

So today, I had finished mowing the lawn, and I was lurking in my basement listening to some old Dead Milkmen tunes. My wife yells down that "the boy from across the street would like to speak with me". The fact that she didn't say "the rude retarded kid" told me that he must be standing nearby. So I headed outside and there was deformo-lad standing in my garage.

He says, "you know that computer you gave me? ... Well, it wasn't that good". At this point I chuckled. Here is this kid telling me that the piece of shit that I gave him, was a piece of shit. And he expected me to give him something better. He honestly did. He asks, "would you have anything better you would want to sell? ... and how much would it be?". So I tell this kid, "I really don't have anything to part with right now ... but if I come across anything I will send it your way".

He rambled on a while and asked me some questions about the tape drive that was in one of the old servers. And I attempted to break free from the conversation. So he asks, "when can I come by for a computer?". What in the hell? I tell him again, "I don't have anything right now. But if someone is getting rid of something at work, I will give it to you". He asks, "do they get rid of anything good?". "Not really", I say, "because if it was worth anything, they wouldn't get rid of it".

I eventually broke away from this retard, and headed back inside. I thought I should maybe share this experience with you. I even drew you a picture of the amazing deformo-lad. Enjoy.

Current Mood: Annoyed
Musical Inspiration: Everything Dead Milkmen