Thursday, February 26, 2004

... But The Jews Killed Christ
Last night I was in a hurry to urinate. It had been a long drive back into Columbus and I was drinking water all night to fight off a nasty cough. As I rolled into the Krogers parking lot, all I could think about was emptying my bladder. I must have busted into the bathroom, because I hardly noticed I was standing on top of a teenager with a mop. I excused myself, and proceeded to tip-toe up to the urinal. He mumbled "it's hopeless" and stormed out with his mop bucket. Must have been a bad day for this guy who just couldn't keep the floor clean. All I did was leave some dirty footprints in an otherwise dirty restroom. The jews killed Christ, and they were forgiven. But that guy will give me a dirty look every time I step into his grocery store now. I will forever be that asshole who just *had* to fuck up his clean floor.

And speaking of Christ, the comotion over this Mel Gibson movie is making me sick. I guess a lot of people are angry that the movie makes the Jews look like dumb assholes, while it portrays Christians as inteligent saints. Whatever. The hooplah over this retarded film is effecting media in all markets. Perhaps its this combination of this film, following the whole Janet Jackson boob incident at the Super Bowl. The FCC has sunk a ton of money into investigating the whole boob thing, which many are calling "nipple-gate". Funny. My taxes paying for the investigation, not so funny.

I turn on the radio this morning, and Howard Stern is on a commercial break, so I check out the other stations. On my local "top 40 station" they are discussing "Clear Channel". Clear Channel owns that station and MANY other radio stations everywhere. They have bought out any stations that will sell, in attempts to own a large portion of the radio and television market. So this morning, that company decided that Howard Stern was too much, and they yanked the Howard Stern show from all of their stations. That accounts for about 6 markets such as Louisville Kentucky and the large Miama Florida area.

So who made this decision? Clear Channel did. Why did Clear Channel make this decision? Because congress told them to. Corporate Radio ... controlled by politicians ... telling YOU what's okay to listen to. Now, I am not some radical anti-government hippie .. but this is bullshit. People are saying whatever they can to draw votes. Unfortunately, the people that run out to vote are the ones that sit around and discuss how "radio and television is making my child evil". Fucking retards. Retards are taking away free speech in this country and it makes me sick.

Nevermind the fact that you can reach out and change a radio station. You can turn off the TV. You can go live in the hills and be Amish. In fact, I invite all of you anti-media hippies to get the fuck out of my country. Go inhabit an Island and do what you want. This country was built on free speech.

Why are people following this anti-American bullshit? Religion. If you have ever seen Japanese television, you will find all sorts of over the top humor, nudity, you name it. Walk around the streets and you will find that no one is 'ashamed' or embarrassed by their sexuality. It's RELIGION that has made this country that way. So our political powers go to church. Good for them. Keep that shit out of law. When pastor Smith fills your Sunday morning telling you how Janet Jackson is satan, and that you should take your children to go see "Jesus Gets His Ass Kicked - by Mel Gibson" just remember what's really on pastor Smiths mind. YOUR MONEY. Religion and law are two seperate entities last I checked.

Now that's enough of that. *Deep breath* Flipping back to the Howard Stern show the morning I was pleased to find that they were on the air on my local station "The Blitz". The station really sucks when they aren't playing the Howern Stern show, but I think I need to send them a letter. Tell them that I congratulate them on NOT being a corporate radio sell out, and for upholding free speech in this country.

Now ... let me move on. *another deep breath* Here's a story for you.

Tires and Tribulations
I was driving back into Columbus in the weeble-mobile Tuesday night. The car has been shuddering at high speed so I knew something wasn't right. I have just been putting it off. Finally, I blew a tire. I was only about a mile from home. So I pulled off into a gas station and had a look. The tire looked fine. But upon closer examination I could see that the inner side of the tire was worn through to the steel belting. Woops.

I called my wife and explained that "I had run into trouble". She suggested I walk to Lowes (home improvement store) for tools since I had a spare tire and a jack, but I was missing my tire iron. I took the walk to Lowes and I was sorely dissapointed in their tool selection. It was pathetic! They had nothing in the way of automotive tools, and they hardly had any socket wreches. I was carrying about $52.00 in cash, and I could see that I would not be able to afford a simple socket set. I bought myself a cresent wrench for $10. It was a sad looking tool, worth about $1.50. I walked back to the car (realizing now that it's about 15 degrees outside). That wrench was a peice of shit. It slipped when I put the least amount of pressure on it. So the wrench went into the truck, the laptop went over my shoulder, and I got to walking home.

I called Discount Man who always loves to hear about my disasters. I also called my wife and told her to look for me in about half an hour. Once home, I formulated a plan. I figured if the ol' Volvo would start up, I could fill it with tools and a 2 ton jack, and drive to the Honda. But I didnt expect that peice of shit to start. I haven't driven it in weeks. Low and behold, it rolled over and started right up!

Now ... I can drive the Volvo to the Honda and put the spare on, but then I have to drive the Volvo home. And then walk back to the Honda? I dug through the garage and pulled out this nasty old racing bike that belongs to my wife. It looks rusty as hell, and the tires were completely flat. I threw all the tools into the Volvo, and put the bike on top. Stopping by the gas station halway to the Honda, I grabbed the air pump and filled up the bike tires. To my disbelief they held the air. Onto the Honda, I changed the tire in no time flat, and then got back into the Volvo driving it home.

Good day for a bike ride, eh mate? I must have looked like a fucking idiot getting on this 20 year old rusty bike and peddling it up the street. It was better than trying to call someone to drive me less than a mile up the road. Or waking up my kids and packing up the whole family for a 5 minute car ride. But God that sucked. I must have riden about 200 feet and I was out of breath. What was wrong with this bike? It turns out that the bike is a 10 speed, and it was stuck in low gear. So riding it down a level street was about like climbing a hill. I threw the bike down and grabbed some wood-chips from a condo complex and jammed the gear switching mechanism to force it into a higher speed. It was at least tolerable, and I peddled onto the gas station. Once there, I jammed the bike into the trunk and drove home on my do-nut tire.

Yesterday morning I took the weeble-mobile on up to the new tire shop near my home. They wanted $45 for a tire, and another $18 bucks or so in fees. No problem. It was getting fixed. I was happy.

This morning I headed out to the Forest. It will be my last time here for months. Maybe forever. I will miss it a little bit. I liked the scenery out here. And the past two weeks I have been driving off to various dead ends and staring into the trees while I study on my laptop. Peaceful.

I was about halfway here when I felt the car pulling to the left. I pulled into a gas station and I find that my tire is just about on the ground. Yes, the new tire. I guess they didn't seal it well enough. Bad valve stem? Maybe I am so far out of alignment, that I pulled the tire off the rim. Who knows. I put some more air in it, and kept driving. It got me here. But I will be here all day. I know when I go to leave this place at 7:00PM my car will be on the ground again. Something tells me I should have kept the bicycle in my trunk.

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