Being Sick Sucks

I don't get sick very often. I'm a pretty lucky guy. But I always get a sinus infection in the late fall (done with that for 2006) and I usually get some sort of gross stomach flue in mid to late December. It must be mid-December.

Last night I drove home through hell on the highway as it was raining pretty heavily during rush hour. What should be a 20 minute drive turned into 45. I walked in the door to get my daughter and take her to Karate, which I had 15 minutes to pull off. Thankfully my wife had packed me up a nice meal - I was starving. I got to the mall and ran inside, getting my daughter through the door with a minute or two to spare and I was free to eat. I practically inhaled my dinner, licking the plate. Sausage patties, eggs with cheese on top, and waffles. Yummy. I was feeling pretty good.

About an hour later, my stomach started rolling over and I thought maybe I had eaten up that meal a little too fast. Woops. Two hours later, I began to wonder if something was going horribly wrong in my digestive track. At 10:00PM when my stomach woke me up after being asleep for about 15 minutes - I knew that I was in for a heck of a night. I went down to the fridge, grabbed the pepto-bismal and drank it down. It felt like poison rolling into my gut. Ouch. Then I started to feel really weak and strange. It was then that I knew, I had the flue.

I tried to go back to sleep. An hour later my stomach woke me up. Prepare to evacuate intestinal walls. It was like I had eaten handfuls of staples, and my body was ready to eject them. Hell, I wasn't sure which end I was going to erupt from. I'll spare the rest of the details for the sake of humanity. I went back to bed.

11:15PM I was awake again. Did my stomach wake me up? I was actually beginning to feel better. No, it was my pager blowing up with someone's network outage. Great, just great. So I grabbed my pager and cell phone and headed to the basement. It turned out to be a downed firewall in Delaware Washington. My only contacts for this account were all in Ohio and I doubt any of them gave half a shit. Yet, they pay to have us call them 24x7, so I left them a voicemail message and my cell phone number. I waited around 10 minutes or so. No call? Good. Good night.

2:00AM I was awake again. Who woke me up this time? I don't feel very good. I need more Pepto. Oh, but it's my pager again. This bad weather is taking it's toll on network tonight. So I go downstairs to my PC and investigate. This time it's a firewall in Cincinnati belonging to an electric company. Would they really give a shit that this thing went belly up in the middle of the night? I really don't like calling anyone at 2:00AM, even if I think it's important. I called the main business line thinking "I can leave them a message, an they will get it in the morning - and be glad that I didn't call them at home". But I wouldn't be so lucky, I was told that I could leave a message if this was an emergency. This was not an emergency that I could see. I called the cell phone of the owner. Ring. Please don't pick up. Ring. Please ... just go to voice mail. Ring. It goes to voicemail. Thank God. As I am leaving the message about his firewall being down, I start getting ping responses. Great. False alarm. Sorry.

I drink some more Pepto, sit on the toilet for a while, and I am back in bed. At 6:30AM the alarm goes off. I feel empty inside. No way. No way am I going to work. I've never called off since I started the new job. I have earned this sick day. I go back to sleep. 7:40AM my wife opens the bedroom door and turns on the light. She tells me I am about to be very late. I tell her I'm calling off. 8:05AM I call off. 8:10AM I go back to the toilet. 8:15AM I go back to sleep.

At 11:30 I crawl out of bed feeling really weak and odd. I tell my wife that usually the kids get sick before I do. She reminds me that my daughter was sick just a few days ago. I had forgotten. I plop myself down to my computer and start up my messenger. The guys at work pick on me for calling off, in a friendly way. But the one guy tells me that one of our co-workers was genuinely pissed off that I didn't show up. Why? I don't know. That guy certainly calls off more than any of us and has been known to excuse himself early on occasion when we are busily trying to get caught up. Screw him.

I decide to work on ODDREE Magazine. I started issue two, and haven't made much progress in a few weeks. Yesterday I had scrawled down two ideas I had for articles. This afternoon, I wrote half of each one. I was pleased with myself. I would like to just keep on trucking and finish them, but both require some additional labor and photo-taking and I just don't have the strength. I think I will just kick my feet up, finish reading Fight Club, and watch some TV. Back to work tomorrow? Probably.

Historic Comments
eel better dude. Look forward to the next issue.
George | 12.15.06 - 12:40 am | #

I know how it is to be sick and still have work to do so hope you feel better and thanks for all the cool stuff you have put together over the years.

You are good People Steve and I like what you are doing with ODDREE

Happy New Year Party on!
carwash | Homepage | 12.29.06 - 10:01 pm | #

The Ghost of My Former Self

I decided to let my kids take some pictures today. We had a little Thanksgiving meal at my house and invited my wifes family over. I knew my wife and I would get too involved with our guests to take pictures. But I didn't want my kids dropping the good camera, so I gave them our old Kodak serial camera which still proudly boasts "1 Megapixel" on the front.

On the camera was a picture that was taken a couple of years ago - the last time the camera was used. It was of me, in my Geek Squad uniform. Once I had the image off the camera, I blew it up full screen. It was like looking at a ghost. I'm not sure who took this picture (or why). But have a look around. I'm installing Windows XP for someone (maybe myself?). I look really tired and depressed. My cheeks are rosey from my blood pressure which was boiling over. On the wall behind me you can see an old training schedule from the evil training empire I worked for. In marker beside it, I have put up a couple of Novell courses that are coming up and then spelled out in big sacastic lettering "some dumb shit I don't want to teach" which was followed by "start a new job!". This was before I was laid off, and started my own business.

Anyhow, it's nice to look back and remember how nasty things got. I makes me appreciate how much better things are now. Happy belated Thanksgiving.

How To Make Recruiters Call You

I have been hitting the job searching pretty hard lately, and I can't say that I have made a lick of progress. The only phone calls I seem to get are from recruiters who don't really have a job for me, but like to waste my time with stupid questions. I have also found that if you go out onto Monster.com and post your resume, you will get phone calls from 5 or more recruiters who are just looking to put you in their database. If you "disable" your resume or make it "private" - wait a few days - then make it viewable again, those same people will call you back. For that matter you might try posting multiple resumes and see if they call you multiple times.

I got a call from a guy last week that I was reluctant to return. But there is that part of your brain that says "this *could* be the big phone call that gets you a better paying job". So I waited until I left out of work, and called this guy on my cell phone. It's as if the guy never even glanced at my resume. It's terribly insulting.

"Where are you working now?" - It's on my resume.
"What kind of experience do you have?" - It's on my resume.
"Are you A+ Certified?" - Uh yeah, I have like - 7 CompTIA certifications.
"Wow, I didn't know there were that many" - Yes. There are a bunch. EL OH EL.
"Any other certification?" - Yeah, what are you looking for exactly? I have many.

A note to recruiters every where. Act like you give a fuck, and do a little research with people when you are expecting their call. Like maybe ... just maybe ... glacing over the resume [ which is one page ].

Late last week I got a call from a recruiter that I worked with at the big evil corporate empire that I so hated. When she quit (or was fired? I forget), she went to work for a recruiting firm. I really needed to get back to her before she moved on and assumed I wasn't interested. Yet, my day was so busy, it didn't look like I was going to get a break. A break that I had definitely earned. I had to come in that morning at 7:30AM for a meeting, and I am still expected to work until 6:00PM. The "deal" is that when you get dicked with that schedule, you get a "two hour lunch". Don't ask me what I am supposed to do with a two hour lunch. But we were so busy, I was lucky to sneak out for half an hour to stuff down some french fries and call my old colleague.

My cell phone is out of minutes, and I am out of money. I can't make a call like this from work. So I started looking for pay phones. There aren't many in this fancy business district, on account that most people have cell phones. But I managed to find one at a gas station and I pumped two quarters into it (yes, a local call costs FIFTY CENTS). A receptionist answered, and aparently, could not hear me speak. The phone was broken. And I was just charged 50 cents to make a prank call. Thanks a lot. I drove to the next payphone, and I could tell that this one didn't work at all.

Next I headed to Giant Eagle. They seemed to have a working payphone in the lobby. This was my luck day. Fifty more cents later, the phone rings. No sooner does she answer, the doors swing open and "the cart boy" began crashing carts together. If I listen very closely, I am able to make out every other word that comes out of her mouth. It sounded like she wanted to offer me a contract teaching position, which entailed 80 percent travel. No thanks. Been there, done that.

My week just doesn't seem to be getting any better. Now the recruiters aren't calling any more. It's back to a job that's looking more and more like a financial dead end. Meanwhile, I am applying to a local University for acceptance this summer. I figure, if I'm this broke, perhaps the Federal government will pay for a couple of classes.

With a degree I might stand half a chance at decent wages.

Historic Comments

you know.. wierd things happen in my life that cause me to look back at a better time..

A time of double fisted blazz0ring. A time of the first semi official PLA chapter. A time of UP$. A time of Curs3d_Ang3ls. A time of Rattor pranking me 3rd party ld from South Africa.

Today was one of those days, and I just had to search for the mighty RDH.

I'm still not sure what sparked me to find you again.. but damn. I miss the old days.
hobKnob | 12.02.06 - 8:48 pm | #

Staying The Course

Last year I ran into a couple of problems. None of them involved money. I was having money thrown at me like I was some kind of up and coming athlete. Everyone loved the training I was delivering, and my “work ethic” as one broker put it. Of course by “work ethic” he was referring to my willingness to take on new courses that I had never taught, on material that I was hardly familiar with. That seemed to be what separated me from the overpaid pre-Madonna’s of the training industry. My wife and I recognized it, and cashed in on it. Before long, the phone was always ringing with awkward requests, and it was difficult to keep track of everything coming in by e-mail. But with every success came a fair bit of sadness as everything I agreed to meant leaving town for a week at a time.

As we went into April, I was running from one week stink to another. From home – to airport – to a dirty hotel. The sweet victory of returning home and sending out the invoice just didn’t seem to counter the hard fact that I would probably have to do it all over 24 hours later. I simply didn’t want to leave any more. And my time at home was hardly productive. I usually sat around in my pajamas all day when I wasn’t on the road.

The money was great. And everything else sucked. My wife and I had always agreed that money shouldn’t drive our goals in life as the result is a miserable existence. And we were right. So I quit. The phone continued to ring, and I turned away job after job while working to get my resume out on the street – talk to old acquaintances and set up interviews. There were two jobs that stuck out in my mind as something obtainable. And I landed a position with one of them. So what’s happened since then?

I like my new job. I was once again part of a mom-and-pop style business, with a real team atmosphere. There are four of us working to stay ahead of service requests, phone calls, and security incidents, and a fifth member writing all the software. The boss and his wife run the sales, billing, and general customer service aspect. It works. It works well. The company has grown by at least a third, putting a stress on the four of us providing support and we suspect we’ll get a fifth partner by January.

I start every day trying to finish yesterdays load, and by noon I have far more to get done than I can ever commit to. The result is that I end up stuffing down lunch when I can, usually muting a customer so they don’t hear my munching. I’m busy, all the time. It’s nice. The days fly by, and I have fun at what I’m doing.

I suppose there are a few problems though. Namely, I’m flat fucking broke. When I applied for the job, I asked for $20,000 a year more than I ended up being hired for. But seeing that I was not getting calls from anyone, I took it. My wife and I ran some numbers and figured that we were going to barely squeak by. But there were surprises. The taxes were a bit higher than expected. Health care and dental insurance take a large portion of my check. And in the end, we were $200 short paying all of the bills.

How could we save our house? We would have to prove to the mortgage company that we can afford it. But here we are months later, and the mortgage company has figured out that we really can’t afford our house. I guess it was more like “fooling them” into thinking we could afford it. They’re nice people and they’re pretty understanding. I guess they have to be. As I look up and down my street, we hardly have any of our original neighbors. They’ve all moved away because they couldn’t afford their homes either. When we see moving vans, it’s never anyone moving in. It’s someone else who’s given up. Our street is littered with realtor signs, some boasting “HUD property” and one even boasts a good deal for “distressed property”. My wife an I figure that translates to “dog shit smells” and “urine stains”.

In an attempt to satisfy the mortgage company I cashed in on my retirement account. There’s very little left. A thousand bucks, or so. With the money we paid off our tax debts with mounting interest, our car which was nearing repossession status, and all of our utility bills which were starting to come to the mailbox in festive orange colors. That ought to do it, I thought. I put it all in front of the mortgage company. In my naivety I guess I thought that they would be willing to help me lower my payments. But the response instead was “that’s great, but you still don’t make enough money”. They always ask weird and insulting questions such as “do you have any other sources of income?”. I’m never sure how to answer that one. I guess I really want to know, “what do other people answer that with?”. Not because I am a smart ass, but I could use some more money myself!

The night after calling the bank and signing the papers to watch my retirement vanish, I had a nightmare that I was in prison. It was awful there, and I wasn’t being treated very well. It seemed like I had expected better, but upon getting there I realized that prison really sucks. Nobody came to see me for weeks. Eventually my dad showed up for a visit and said “we’re working with your lawyers, it may take some time”. But I kept pleading “you have to get me out of here … I mean, I’m not even sure what I did”. But after I was awake, and I could make sense of what was going on in my head, it was clear. I had put myself on trial for my financial ruin, and it was for my father who was judging me.

I explained the whole dream to my wife – adding that I was in grief over a financial decision that my father will not be happy with. She was quite understanding and assured me that we were doing the right thing and the only thing. I admitted that it was rather sad to sit around depressed about what my father would say about my financial un-successes.

Retirement spent, and bank account empty, I continued my new full time career making 13% less than I did when I was laid off several years ago. I felt I was underpaid then. I feel really underpaid now. While waiting on hold to talk to the mortgage company, they constantly remind you of their website. So I headed there to a section on “payment help” where they offer “alternatives to foreclosure”. My heart sank. There were five options. The first three were options that we have tried in attempts to get back on track and keep paying on our house. All options that have failed, as there is just not enough income to go around. The latter two unexplored options involved leaving your home in a voluntary fashion – to avoid the black mark of foreclosure. Those, I thought, were the only two I haven’t been through.

So I broke it to my wife. Monday I will call the mortgage company. I will tell them that we cannot make a payment. A payment that we needed to make if we wanted to stay on a plan. The plan being a “test” to see if we could stay on the path to repayment. The result of missing my deadline? Options four and five on the list. I don’t have to speculate. The whole thing is laid out for you. If you aren’t content leaving your home, there’s always the missing option six (foreclosure).

Likely, I will be leaving my house in the coming year. Not because I don’t like the place. I just simply can’t afford to live in it. I’m not bitter about it, but a little depressed. I’ve raised my kids here. We’ve painted the walls together. There are lots of great memories here.

I suppose that things might turn around. But I have to be honest with myself. I’m not going to get a large raise any time soon. I’m doing a great job at work. The boss even told me so, and he’s not a complimenting type. And it was a little sad to hear that one of our team members who has been there for years, makes the same thing I do.

Should I look for a new job? I guess it’s time to. I like my job. But I need more money. A lot more money. So much more money, that when I am asked by an interviewer “what is your current salary”, I had better put on a pretty good poker face.

In situations such as these, I wonder what the Buddha would have said. Likely he would remind me of suffering. He would tell me that when the things we like are taken away, we feel suffering. It brings me comfort in knowing that it’s just a house that’s gong away and not the life of someone I love. Life has dealt me much worse, and I’m not going to call this situation sour grapes. The time I have had with my kids, and not being on the road all the time certainly seems better than paying all my bills and leading a miserable life. I still feel we’re better off than this same time last year.

What’s next for me? What’s next for us? At 30 years old, and lacking a college degree I’m in no shape for demanding a large increase from my current employer.

It looks I will be back to the job search engines and updating my resume for one last stand. Wish me luck.?

Historic Comments
GOOD LUCK!
DEVO | 11.19.06 - 7:23 pm | #

Hey Ray, I am a long time reader of your blog. Been reading since I found you on the legendary thebroken forums. I come back from time to time and catch up on how you are doing, and somehow I always find a mirror of my own trials. This one is no different except for the fact that it reflects my situation 6 months ago. I dropped a job that was great for my bottom line, but bad for me personally. I left there and never looked back - instead, waiting tables to get by, and not even doing that. But alas, I did find a job that I love, and that loves my checkbook, and it all seems worth it now. Don't hesitate to do what needs to be done, in the end you will see the wisdom of your choice fully. Best of luck..
Ty | Homepage | 11.28.06 - 5:02 pm | #

Ah, the fruit of my past month of unemployment comes to the light of day. While the release date was set for tomorrow May 27th, 2006 it was 'pushed up' to today. Namely because street dates for something like this were only made to be broken by leaked links. But also because all the mirrors were ready for downloads and there was no reason to hold anything back.

I hope that the magazine turns out to be a success. It was a lot of fun to put together and I am all ready looking forward to working on Issue 2 . The next one will have a little more reader input and article submissions.

So get your copy now if you haven't all ready - ODDREE.com

read more | digg story

Historic Comments
What happened to Ray?
Michael | 09.07.06 - 12:43 am | #

4:58PM

I crawled out of bed yesterday in a complete daze. The Niquil I had gulped down the night before must have kicked in. The first dose wore off around 4:30AM and when I woke up sneezing, I chugged down another dose to put me down. So at around 9:00AM I opened my eyes and realized it was really quiet in the house. I was a little confused. My house is never that quiet. But then I noticed the time and realized my kids had gone off to school and my wife had too as she was helping at the book fair all day. I felt pretty good. Almost like this head cold had subsided. But then about ten minutes later I was sneezing uncontrollably and choking down more pills. It's definitely a sinus infection. What great fucking timing.

I went downstairs and checked my email. Just spam. No blinking voicemail light. I checked it anyway. No voicemail. *sigh* It would be a long day of waiting.

Sometime between Thursday and Friday I was to hear about this job. And the longer the day got, the more I began to think that I didn't get the job and they just didn't have the heart to tell me. They knew I wanted the job really bad (especially after bringing them brownies). Perhaps they just didn't have the heart to tell me. No, maybe I was jumping the gun. After all, it's a tough decision. They probably want to hold off until Friday to give their answer. I waited, and waited, and waited.

It was just about five o' clock now, and I was getting ready to go to the grocery and pick up dinner items. Another day gone. My wife had just started up the laundry. Something she had been putting off because of the noise. No sooner did she start it up that the phone rang. It was them. Here they had waited until the end of the day. Expecting bad news at this point I happily answered.

"So you tried to buy me with brownies, eh?". The owner seemed a little wierded out by the brownies, but appreciative none the less. He went on to tell me that they were hours away from making their decision, and he wanted to ask me a few questions if I had a moment. I did. And so he asked something to the effect of "why would you want to take a job as different as this one?". I had a good answer for this. I had a LONG answer for this and so I addressed it. In my explanation I detailed: (a) why I feel like my students don't learn anything valuable from me (b) that the training industry is a crooked self propelling product pusher (c) that I hate traveling (d) that I don't like getting stiffed. He agreed that these were all good reasons to leave my field and so, he paused. He looked through his schedule. "Can we meet tomorrow, say 3:30PM?", he asked. "Absolutely!", I replied.

So did I have the job? Was I interviewing a third time? What the hell was next? Thankfully before ending the call he let me know what's going on. "Just so that there is no suspense here, you probably know what's coming ... we're going to offer you a job tomorrow". Hooray! I got it! I got the job! Thank God. Now I could take a deep breath. And if I didn't feel like such utter shit on behalf of this infection I would jump up and down.

Today is a new day. I have a lot I need to get done. As I approach noon, I haven't accomplished much of anything. I need to talk to two different companies that I am contracted to and try to let myself off the hook on behalf of my new career. One project I never signed a contract for. In fact, I haven't billed them and may never get paid anyway. So no real loss there. The other, has always treated me very well, paid on time, etc. I regret telling them that I will not be working for them any more. I also need to call my mortgage company, and my auto finance company to let them know that I will indeed pay them sometime in the near future.

But I did get something done today. I published the first issue of my magazine! It's live, along with a new website that kept me busy for practically a full week. Check it out @ http://www.oddree.com.

On a final note, as I was blogging my phone rang from a strange 800 number. She asks "is this the owner of Beavers IT Training?".

"Why, yes it is".
"I'm --- from Yahoo. Would you have a few minutes to discuss advertising for your business?"
"Oh, I don't think that will be necessary"
"Do you feel that your site doesn't need to be advertised?"
"No, it's just that as of today I'm kind of ... out of business. I'm closing".
"Ah, that's too bad, why is that?"
"Because I have a job! Thanks anyway though!"

*click*

It's a little depressing closing this thing down. My wife and I worked hard to build this business and now it's 'done'. I won't miss the work (at all!). But it's a bittersweet victory in our lives. Something I will always look back on. The highlight being our family trip to Pittsburgh. We will always have that. Perhaps I will keep the website around. In memory of our exciting 14 month venture.

Historic Comments
Thats flippin' awesome man. Hope you enjoy your new job/career.

I hope a good, stable job won't have an impact on your entertaining and eventful blog posts.
Michael | 05.31.06 - 9:38 am | #

Congrats on the job. I've often wondered why I sat through technology classes that seemed too simple to be doing any good. At least now you have a chance to become a BOFH.
Poe | 06.01.06 - 10:08 pm | #

YES! Great news Ray!

I just got similar news today, but I don't start until July 10th because I am taking time off to spend with my newborn daughter.

Rich
EvilRich | 06.02.06 - 3:31 pm | #

Glad to hear it Ray. I always wondered why you were training instead of being in the trenches. I am sure you will enjoy your new career. Congrats!
tdo | 06.05.06 - 7:09 pm | #

Take this job, and politely exchange it.

It's been just about a month since I have worked a contract job. I can't say that it hasn't been nice. It has. But I was hoping to have a full time job by now and it hasn't happened. You see, somewhere between the 11 hour car drives, the Motel 6's, and the jet-lag ... it hit me. I do *not* want this job any more.

And so at the start of the month, I went out on Monster and Dice and started searching. There's not a lot of work that I am qualified to do. I'm a trainer. All I have done for six years is "train". The only people likely to hire me are training centers. But I'm not standing in line to work for one of those. This past year I've been to dozens of them, nationwide. And they are all the same. All of them operating on a shoestring budget. All of them pay their bills late. None of them are managed by anyone with any amount of sense. The only safety I have in this business is that the brokers pay me, and then chase down the senseless deadbeat straining center in their own time.

I saw a ton of jobs that I would love to take. The ones that interested me most were the Network Security something or rathers. At first, I only applied for a couple jobs in my area. I didn't want to send out a hundred resumes, and get dozens of responses. So I only sent out a handful. But nobody called.

So then I looked a little farther. Up to 100+ miles away. And this time I send out 25 resumes in a few days time. Still, not a single phone call or email. Many of the jobs I tried to follow up with yielded dead ends to voicemail boxes or receptionists who didn't know what I was talking about. One did call me back about a week after I submitted the application (which was maddening). I am pretty fucking sick of filing electronic job applications with everyones own clever little system. Escpecially when its the SAME information that Monster and Dice have you put into THEIR system. Anyway ... I got a response about a group calling themselves the career development program. I looked them up and it seemed to be a tax supported group that helps highschool kids in finding their future IT jobs. But alas, this was not the same group. Instead, I had filled out a form for a group that wanted to train ME. Yes, they wanted to get me "Microsoft Certified" so I could have the job of my dream. It took great restraint not to tell them that I am all ready a 2003 MCSE/MCT/MCSA, etc and I can't get a job to save my ass.

Dead ends. Voice mails. Filling out forms in the basement of state buildings. They all got me nowhere. Then I got a call from a local company that was looking for a Network Security Analyst. I remembered them well because I had been out a day or two earlier trying to put my resume into peoples hands. I believe that there is still reason to walk into a joint and hand them a resume. Of course I formatted in into the fanciest table you have ever seen. And I printed it on the finest of 100 percent cotton paper. But most people didn't want my resume.

I walked into one local business and asked the guard "is there an HR department here that I can drop a resume off to?". "I don't know", he said, "we just started here ... you might try the next building". In the next building I found some older woman in a tacky red dress leaning over a guard at the front desk aparently teaching him something about the phones. I asked again, "is there an HR department in this building? I would like to drop off a resume". She then went onto explain that they "typically did not accept walk-in's" and that they "had an electronic system on the Internet. She continued to tell me about their web site as if I were a child and I was unaware of these devices called "computers". While it was entertaining to flash her puzzled looks, and further drag more hopeless explanations out of her about how "web pages work" (in general) ... I was getting nowhere.

But that day I was able to drop off three resumes out of the 6 businesses I had visited. And one of them called me back. I set up an interview.

The first interview I had started with an application process. They handed be a paper application and explained that it was "a formality". I obliged and proceeded to fill out the details using my resume (which had all the necessary information). Once it was done, I headed to the "boss's office" where I had my first interview. It went very well. The conversation opened with him looking over my resume and telling me that "we didn't expect anyone with your qualifications to apply for this position". To which I thought, "I hope he's telling me I'm too smart for this ... and not the other way around". But yes, they felt I was far overqualified for a position as an entry level "security analyst". He was very interested in why I would want to drop my business and work for him. So I told him everything. Well, not quite everything. I left out the thing about the trains running under my hotel in Maryland. And when I couldn't afford three nights in a hotel, so I drove through the night to get to North Carolina, and had to take a few breaks to puke (from staying up all night). And I didn't tell him about getting into bed and finding other peoples hair in it. But I expressed my hatred for "the road", getting stiffed by training companies, etc. Being an independant business owner himself, he was delighted to hear of my misery. He related in a big way.

So the first interview went really well. So well, that the owner didn't mind spinning his terminal around and showing me their system. Which was quite impressive. I told him, "this is quite impressive". He agreed and went on to say "we couldn't find anything this robust, so I hired a genious to write it for me". As I watched him click around I made a few comments about what I saw on the screen. And then he gave me "the look". That look you get from someone when their brain says "one of us!". The last time I got that look was from a gay flight attendant who was fumbling with metal hangers. I had said "no more metal hangers!". This is a line from the classic film "Mommy Dearest", which is aparently very big with gays. I remember thinking "this is the look that gays give each other". A nod if you will.

I called everyone and told them about my interview. It went well. I couldn't wait for what was next. The "second interview". Most companies do three, but I was told "we dont like to jerk people around - so we should be calling you for a second interview and that will be it". One more and I am in, I thought.

A couple of days ago I showed up to my second interview with the company. Just as I was opening the door, I did this trick where I took all the anxiety from my stomach, and just lifted it into the air. Once you have trained yourself through meditation, you can really control that nervous mind. It's a skill I wish I had picked up years ago. It doesn't always work, but that day I was very keenly focused, and when I sat down for my interview I was completely cool and collected.

I went through the usual parade of goofy questions such as "tell me about a time you were unable to help someone and what you did about it". It was pretty hard for me, but I scrambled to come up with good answers. They were drilling me about "help desk" scenarios. It's been years since I have been in that position. But I have done far greater things and so I called on those consulting engagements, service calls, etc. I also got to tell some of my favorite stories about huge mistakes that I have made. The interviewer loves those. Yes, I have screwed up. No, I'm not too arrogant to admit it. And yes, I have a sense of humor about it.

The next step of my interview was with "an engineer". I was sweating this one. I know most engineers MO. They're assholes. Hey, if you are an "engineer" and you are not an asshole, I apologize. But then, I haven't had you as a student in any of my classes. But this must have been my lucky day because the guy that interviewed me was the same slick young guy that I had handed my resume to the previous week. He was going to make this easy on me. He has questions like "if you can't figure something out, do you have a problem asking for help?". I asked him some questions like "why do you like it here, or DO you like it here?". He had good answers. And then came ... the BOMB. He slid a few pieces of paper stapled together across the table rather sheepishly and said "well ... I have this ... that you have to do". I looked it over. "It's a quiz!", I said. He nodded, and chuckled. "Yeah, sorry" he says, "we just need an idea of your technical abilities.

I layed it out in front of me and scanned over it. I hadn't filled out anything. Just wanted to get my bearings. "Don't feel like you have to answer any of them", he said, "... just try to fill in what you know". Question number one? List all seven layers of the OSI model. Question number two was something about "what layer of the model does this". Hell, the first 10 questions were on the OSI model, and I was working that pencil like it was some sort of magic wand. I rattled off the answers to all twenty questions and slammed down the pencil. Done.

Yeah, I screwed up a few. On the "list what ports these services use" question, I got telnet and ssh mixed up. And when asked to give a network ID and a broadcast address for an IP address, I put them backwards. I was rushing. But he was impressed to say the least. As his eyes wandered over my answers he lifted his eyebrows and said "I got to tell ya, I could only answer maybe four of these when I came to work here". I had done well. I HAD to have the job, right?

But alas, they thanked me for my time, and freed me explaining "we have a few more interviews on Friday and we will be in touch". Argh! The waiting game. What's one more week of waiting? I've been off for almost a month now. Sure, I'm out of money. Yes, I am holding off definite work out of town that would pay my bills in hopes of maybe getting this job ... but patience. I must pracice patience.

A few days later I got a call from Judy, my second interviewer. She says "are you still interested in the job?". Of course I was. She says "we are still interested in you. We have narrowed down to three candidates and would like for you to take an online exam for us". Another tecnical test? Not quite. This is was a "personality test". I really hate these. Mostly, because I'm sure that they can be 'beaten', and only provide false positives about job candidates. But I did it anway, answering 500 or so questions where you had to chose from two bizarre answers.

I was put off a bit by the test so I responded to the email with the link and info with news that I had taken it, and I was anxiously awaiting the next step. I went on to say that I was not above pandering if they would like for me to drop by with baked goods sometime while they make their decision. Strangely, I got a smiley back and a hint that "the boss likes dark chocolate".

Now, stay with me. This is where things get a little wierd in my life. Yesterday I headed out on foot to Wal-Mart. It's almost 2 miles away, but I had all day to spend sitting at home, and I needed the exercise. Plus my wife had the car. So I bought brownie mix, and some bacon. We were having "breakfast for dinner" that night. A favorite with the kids. As I was walking home, I got a call from my wife asking "when is your appointment at the bank?". Woops. I had comepletly forgot that I was meeting with a financial guy at my bank about my 401k investment. Saving the day, my wife drove to meet me at the bank, holding the paperwork. The good news was, I rolled over the majority of my retirement money into an IRA. But had to take a bit off the top to pay this months finances. Oh, and a bit more to pay my taxes at the end of the year. It's a severe penalty. But ... I would keep my house another month.

So this morning I clammered out of bed fighting a nasty house cold I had picked up and made some delicious chocolate brownies. Today they would likely make their decision about whether or not they were going to hire me. And yes, I took them some brownies. If it helps even a little to get me this job, it will be the best five bucks I've ever spent.

Man ... I would like to blog more. But on account of this house cold I am on my second dose of niquil. And it's kicking in. Blah! Good night.

Oh by the way, did I mention I started a magazine? The first issue is about done, and I will be dropping it along with a new web site very soon. You can find it here ... www.oddree.com.

Tomorrow (or Friday) I should find out if I got this job. WISH ME LUCK.

Historic Comments
Good luck with the job Ray

Happy Friday
carwash | Homepage | 05.25.06 - 9:03 pm | #