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Buddhas and Hookers

My wife and I had a couple of hours without the kids today and so we decided to hit a few thrift stores. I found an "iTrip" (FM Transmitter for an iPod) and it only cost me $2.99. I also bought a WebTV box for $1.99. Although now that I see that I can't hack it I think I may have spent two bucks for a one gig Seagate hard drive (the only salvageable piece).

On our way back from one of the thrift stores we passed an Asian market. The sign read "Asian groceries -and gifts-". I figured that the "gifts" were probably cheap ceramic Buddha's, and I was in the market for one. So I busted a u-turn and rolled in. When we walked inside, I turned around to leave. It was the smell. I remember when I was a child and my mom would take me to Rinks (it was like K-Mart) she would never take me to the bathroom. A couple of times I threatened to pee my pants, so she took me to it. That smell of urinal pucks and stagnant urine are embedded in my brain. That's what the Asian grocery smelled like.

So anyway, I looked behind the counter and saw many great pieces of Buddha art. The cashier was happy to check a few prices for me and I could tell by his reaction to my interest, that people didn't actually buy that crap. They just had it there for decoration. "How much for the small one?", I asked. He picked it up trying to decrypt the lettering on the bottom. It was hard to read, because the statue was so small (and therefore so was the label). "$5.99", he muttered. Not bad, I thought. So I asked about the "big Buddha". "49.99", he said. "Whoah! Is it wood?". "No", he says as he knocked on it, "it's soap-stone". I nodded as if I knew what soap stone was. I looked at my wife. She was smiling uncomfortably as if to say, "get me the hell out of here".

We got out and hopped in the car. I backed out of the space, and just as I was putting it into drive some guy rolled into the parking lot and faced me head on. Being in a pinch I glanced over my shoulder to get an 'all clear' and then continued backing up to give him room. As he steered around me and I put the car in drive I noticed a figure shadowing over my wife. It was a thin (and I mean deathly thin) woman waving a cigarette around and yelling something at me. She looked familiar. I think because a moment earlier I had caught a glimpse of her waltzing through the parking lot as I looked over my shoulder. Ah! Now I know what she was saying. Something to the effect of, "you almost ran over me".

As she stumbled away (still yelling and waving her cigarette around) I wondered what she was doing waltzing through the parking lot jumping over concrete dividers and bushes. She was going out of her way to walk 10 feet or so from the sidewalk. Her outfit was ridiculous. It was a black dress that probably would have fit a traffic cone comfortably. Even for as tall as she was, she probably weighed in at around 100 pounds. She had high heels on. From this I deducted that she must be staying off the sidewalk for one of two reasons.

1. She is a prostitute, and she is off duty.

2. She is not a prostitute, and doesn't much like people trying to pick her up. So she is staying away from the main road as not to draw attention.

Now as the evening folds and I get ready to hop into my pajamas, I am sure that this event will be the most exciting event of the day.

The real question is: just what the hell will I do with my time tomorrow since I will not be teaching?

Historic Comments
Ray you could always pick her up to find out if she is a street ho.
Bird603568 | 08.24.05 - 8:05 pm | #

Heya Ray!
Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man here. Just taking advantage of an open access point atop the Metlife building here in the Apple...

I can't believe I found you. I used to read some of your stuff years ago. Didn't you have a different format of a site?

Anyway,

You never mentioned what you thought of that iTrip! I've been thinkin about picking one up but didn't want to shell out the cash if I didn't have to.

Take care my friend. Stop by and visit the Webslinger sometime.

Spider-Man
Spider-Man | Homepage | 08.27.05 - 9:41 pm | #

Drink untill you can't drink anymore
Benzoate | 08.27.05 - 11:42 pm | #

Yo Ray, long time no see. Look me up bro, how have you been?
Gethsemane | 09.27.05 - 5:04 pm | #