OS X On The RISC Platform Is "Natural"

With all the recent hype about OS X working on an Intel platform, I decided to explore it's roots. I had no idea what I was in for when I met with a student at the University of Berkley in California. He had tracked me down by e-mail a few weeks prior.

I flew out to California on a Friday, and settled into my dirty hotel late that night. The following morning, I threw on my jeans and headed out un-showered. I couldn't wait to get to the University and meet with my contact. During a phone call earlier in the week he had promised me that he could reveal "everything about OS X ... things that he shouldn't know", or so he said. This all sounded very enticing, and I was looking for something good to put in my blog. This guy insisted that I meet him in his favorite cafe, which was about a mile or so off the main campus. He had said he didn't want to be identified, but felt that this information should be made public.

When I arrived to the cafe, the man looked at me from across the room and waved me to his table. He nervously looked around the room, gripping a dirty yellow folder. "In this folder" ... he paused ... "are photos that will change the history of computing as we know it". Then he laid the folder down, smacked it with an open hand, and began to tease a cup of coffee with a stir stick. "Where do you think it came from?", he asked. I had read my history. I knew a little. "FreeBSD", I replied. He scoffed. "FreeBSD? Do you really believe that something so wonderful ... so elegant ... is a product of 1900's UNIX code?".

I had never really put much thought into it. One platform built on top of another seemed to be the way things get done with Operating Systems. He lean forward, reached into his folder, and drew out a photo. Sliding it across the table, I snapped it, and held it into the light from a neighboring window. "It's a mossy slab of ... something. It's a rock, right? A mossy stone?", I asked. He chuckled.

"Yes, a very important mossy stone. I signed up for the peace core seven years ago. I wasn't interested much in going to college. So I went off to Tibet for a while. I was there about three months when I found that rock. I had been trying to fit in with the native refugees I was there to help, and so I had been walking barefoot in brightly colored robes. Then I stepped in something. I stopped at that stone to wipe my feet off on it".

He stopped with his story, sipped at his coffee and then looked at me as if he were expecting me to ask him to continue. "Go on", I finally said, "what was it?". "It was dung. I'm sure of that now. Looking back, I remember stepping in it, and I could see the consistency was far too thin and granular to be mud-". "No!", I interrupted, "the stone! What was it about the stone?". "The stone", he paused, "revealed a piece of code. It was binary. It's simple really. If you look closely, you will see that the moss is dense, but has many empty spots. The empty spots separate the code".

"You mean to tell me ... that OS X grew on a rock ... naturally?". "Well not entirely", he added, "the rock ended up just being part of that 'expose' feature. But it was largely flawed. That component would later be discovered growing on the side of an old tree and would be added to what Apple later called 'Panther'. At least I think it was 'Panther'. I don't follow that stuff much".

I sat silently, turning the photo around in my hands. I looked, and didn't see much more than a moldy rock, and the toes of someone who had been standing at the edge of the rock when the photo was taken. "Do you have more?". "I have more", he replied, and pulled out a second photo.

The second photo was of a group of weeds. I stared at it intently. "Focus", he said. After several minutes of looking at the photo I gave up. "I just don't see it", I huffed accepting defeat. He snapped the photo back from me and looked at it himself, seeming surprised. "Oh this!" ... he raised his eyebrows and stuffed the photo back into his folder. "That is the wallpaper for Windows Vista ... so far it means nothing ... but I am exploring some theories ... it looks like weeds from the area where I had been staying and I think Microsoft may have people looking around there now. They steal things you know ... Microsoft, that is". Shuffling through his folder he removed a third photo, smiled, spun the photo around (still hiding it from view in his folder), smiled again, and finally yanked the photo out dropping it on the table.

This was a picture of a rain forest, taken from high in the air (possibly a cliff or mountaintop). "It's stunning", I said, "simply ... beautiful". "It looks pretty impressive. Nature has formed that wonderful forrest without the help or the effort of man. I knew that there had to be a reason for it being there. So I took this photo, and ran it through a piece of software I wrote to discover algorithms". "What did this reveal?". "It revealed a strange combination of plain text code, and an image". "And what were they?". He stopped for a moment, smiling at his little secret, and leaned forward before whispering, "It was Safari! ... I had discovered the Safari Web Browser!".

Naturally, one would be skeptical at such claims. I certainly was. As the hours passed, the man laid photo after photo on the table. Most looked like poorly planned vacation photos. The kind you have to sit through after one of your family members takes a trip to a coast line. A bunch of trees. Some people standing around monuments. A boat. Really, really, dull stuff. But all of these photos revealed pieces of code when properly translated and my new friend had all this supporting code to prove it.

"What ...", I started to ask, "who ... did you give this to?". "Who else could I give it to?", he replied angrily. "Didn't you see the code? ... It was RISC based, and it was written for the Apple platform. I took it to Steve Jobs, of course!". "Of course!", I added respectfully. "What would the developers of this software have to say about all of this?", I queried. "Do you mean ...", he looked around the cafe slowly lifting a finger and pointing upward, "... the Gods?". "No, no! The people that work at Apple who claim they have developed it. What would they say about all of this". "Oh those guys. They would probably say I'm nuts. What could they say? That they spent months trying to come up with an Operating System that would run on their Darwin base, and I found it growing on a tree?".

Suddenly, my mind began to race. "The iPod!", I shouted. "The iPod?". He shook his head. "Oh so you think that everything grows on trees, even iPods". I nodded. "No ... the iPod was just some slick engineering, and great marketing. No miracle of nature there".

"What did you get out of finding this?". "Nothing really. I took these pictures, I made my discovery, and I sent it all to Apple. I heard nothing back from them so I assumed they just thought I was a nut. But then I turned on the news one day and I saw it! I saw a preview of the latest stuff from Apple. And the wallpaper looked really familiar. It was derived from a pattern I discovered in a murky body of water were algae had grown at the waters edge".

I wondered why this had never been discussed. Why had Apple covered this up? Who else knew the truth about this Operating System? What would be next? I guess only time would tell. I headed back to my hotel later that afternoon and hit all my favorite news sites on my iBook. There were all sorts of people reporting about how OS X might ultimately run on an Intel platform as this was Apples plan. But, inside, I know that this is just not natural. It grew on a rock, and it was formed (by natural means) to run on a RISC based Motorola processor. Is it a gift from the heavens? Is earth nothing more than a natural formation meant to serve our technological means? What other modern wonders do we use on a day to day basis that were grown in this same manner?

The next time you go walking through a wooded area you had better look around. You may be tromping over or disturbing the next big Operating System. And if our disrespect toward the environment doesn't change ... Microsoft will never be toppled.

Historic Comments
I guess you ate those 'special' brownies today.
Poe | 08.14.05 - 1:24 pm | #

Apple before being on IBM chips was on Motorola chips.
oc12 | 08.14.05 - 9:06 pm | #

?????????
TIM | 08.15.05 - 7:52 pm | #

I dont understand it either and I wrote it. It's like a cross between a mock news item, and a bad interview from Rolling Stone.

Let's just forget I blogged that.

Thanks,
-Ray
Ray Dios Haque | 08.21.05 - 9:59 pm | #

9:53AM

These past few nights I have had a hard time staying asleep. I usually drift off and don't awake until my alarm goes off (and even then I generally fade out for a few more minutes). A week or so ago, I decided to give up coffee. It upsets my stomach, and I'm not even sure I like the taste of it. I just like the caffiene. So I switched off to tea. Lighter, less sugar, and easier on the stomach. I really like tea. Maybe too much. I have been drinking probably six cups a day, half of which when I get home. I think the caffiene buzz is following me to bed and keeping me from sleeping well.

As I drifted in and out of sleep last night, I kept having these colorful and vivid dreams. The kind that only seem to last a few minutes but must take place over the period of a few hours. Mostly good and happy thoughts. Yet, the last dream I remember having was downright awful. I was sitting next to my mother on a wooden picnic bench at the top of a hill. Off to the right at a neighboring table was my wife and kids. We were enjoying lunch on a beutiful day. The sky was bright blue, and the grass a lovely shade of green. It was kind of like the default Windows XP wallpaper. Just so wonderful, it looked computer generated.

My mother was telling me a story and we were laughing and having a good time. Then ... air raid sirens. It was a little un-nerving and everyone began to get frightened. "What time is it?", I asked. Looking at her watch, my mother replied "9:53". Then I replied, "Well it's a little early, but it's Wednesday. They always run those at noon". Everyone agreed that it was probably normal, and we began to get back to our conversations. Then a strange formation of clouds appeared and it cast an obscure shadow upon the valley of green grass below. It didn't look much like anything. Just several cloudlike circular shadows. Almost like a reflection of something. It was an aircraft of some kind. And it was above us. Just as I looked up to the sky to see what was making the shadows - a ring shaped cloud decended from the heavens and began to drift toward the valley gaining speed. As it did, fire erupted from it's sides making an awful noise which echoed through the valley.

It was a bomb.

There was no time. The last thing I remember seeing was my mother flailing around in a panic (she recognized that everyone was about to be vaporized). It was horribly realisitic. It was the same noise she made when I teased her with rubber spiders as a kid. I remember thinking, I don't even have time to look at my family. We are about to go up in flames, and I can't even tell them I love them or say goodbye. I didn't even have time to turn around and see them.

So what was this dream about? Not enough time. I think it's a fear that we all have. I am just discovering it within myself. My dreams have taken new forms with me. They help me understand things about myself. My hope is that I will eventually learn meditation, and I won't have to sleep to invoke these locked away thoughts. Last night, I read a few lessons from the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama has a funny way of giving it to you straight. He says, "we all die". He also says, "you won't be coming back". Finally he adds, "the only thing we DON'T know is WHEN we will die". So we had better prepare ourselves for death, basically.

As I sat at work today I kept checking the clock nervously. Not that I think I am some sort of psychic or anything ... but the dream seemed so real that it actually creeped me out. When I glanced to the clock and saw that it was just about 10:00AM I breathed a sigh of relief.

There is time.

Other events I don't want to write about now:

1) A consultant was pushed from the plane (someone was fired from my old employer whom I am serving this week).
2) Others from this company will likely leave -and if the company survives- it will mean more work local employment for me.
3) My daughter has lost three teeth this week (literally, she lost one - we found the other two).

Current Mood: Partly Enlightened
Musical Inspiration: I've been using my iPod to listen to Dhamma talks (and the White Stripes!)

Good Books

These past few weeks I have been very much at ease with myself. My schedule is filled for a few weeks, and I haven't needed to spend an inordinate amount of time preparing for my next class as they are courses that I have all ready taught. In my idle time (which has been plenty) I have taken to reading a few books. First, I finished my last Douglas Adams book "Mostly Harmless" just after returning home from Pittsburgh. It was a bit sad, because I ran out of books, and because I know that there won't be a new book (he's dead).

My wife and I were out wandering around in the north end and I expressed a desire to stop into the half-price book store. I was unable to find anything interesting to read there. I ended up perusing the IT books for the better part of an hour only to come to the realization that "Wireless" and "Security" books all suck (in general). I don't think it's because I am 'so smart'. Rather these books all focus on the same skill level, which must border somewhere around 'lame-ass'.

I was bored. I headed into religion.

My wife and I have been exploring Buddhism as of lately. I've always been a bit curious about it myself, but have never really taken the time to read anything. I had browsed through a few of the books she had picked up a week or so ago, and I was unimpressed. I found that most of the books are what people think the message of Buddhism is, not really what is taught. One book caught my eye because it is written by the Dalai Lama himself. After reading through the intro I found that this was one book from a series of books, and I was all ready into the sequel. This didn't seem to matter much, because each book focus on a different teaching of sorts. Since picking it up over the weekend, I am maybe a third through it. It's good stuff.

I also randomly came to a book which I had once picked up years earlier. The Tao of Pooh. This book introduces the reader to Taoism by using Winnie the Pooh characters. It brought back quite a few memories. When I was about 11 years old I went on a trip to North Carolina with my Aunt. She's a nun. Oh wait, this is an interesting story. I need to set this up.

The Nun, The Hacker, Usagi Yojimbo

Nuns are highly sociable. If you think nuns sit around all day in a convent praying, you don't know nun-thing! Nuns like to visit people. People like having nuns over. It was a phenomenon that I picked up on when I traveled with my aunt. I guess preparing a meal for a nun, and pulling out the sleeper sofa for them must be pretty enlightening. We traveled through Tennessee and the Carolina's for an entire week and never had a problem staying the night somewhere for free. I guess it would be pretty cold hearted to turn away a nun.

One of these nice families that hosted my nun and I, were the Messers. The family seemed harmless enough, but it was apparent that they had issues. The father of the family had severe suicidal depression, and was constantly on and off various drugs. The son, Damian, was highly intelligent but completely withdrawn and it was worried that he might suffer from depression like his father. Between Damian and his father, they had accrued about ten computers in their basement.

Did you catch that? I said TEN COMPUTERS. Now you may say "I have twelve in my basement -what's the big deal"? Friends, this was 1987! To have ten operational computers lined up in your basement in the 1980's was amazing. There was a couple of Commodores, Apples, "Trash-80's", and of course many IBM clones.

Damian was told he had to entertain me, and so he took me into this dungeon. I was in awe. He kind of directed me to the rear of the room where the older Commodore games were and showed me how I could load a few games. I must admit, Usagi Yojimbo was a nifty game. You were this character from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. A big rabbit with a samurai sword. You could give money to peasants, and then murder them in cold blood. This would cost you karma, however, and was regarded as a bad move.

After having enough with the games I was soon at Damian's side watching him work. I had a couple of BBS's that I used back home, but this guy was dialing into BBS's with features that I had never seen. He was happy to show me around his favorite hang-outs, let me read some of his documentation, and even put on some interesting college radio stuff which he rather liked.

Later that night I leaned over and picked up a tattered book and asked, "what's this?". "Oh!", he replied as he snatched it away, "just a book I am reading that your aunt ... might not agree with". He winked and stuffed it into his back pocket.

Our Story Continues

All those years ago, Damian was reading this book which I now held in the book store. Just what was this secretive, yet silly looking, book all about? I flipped the book over in the book store and read the back. Taoism. Interesting. The following day I sat down and read the whole damned thing. It's a good book. So good, that I feel obligated to stuff it into the pocket of a friend and convince them they need to read it to.

The Writer Within

So I got a message a while ago from my buddy Ryan (Wardriver). He asked, "what's going on with Gloop?". That's a good question. I have no idea. Here I built Gloop up from an inside joke into a mock company that sold imaginary products. But it was also the distribution point for my unfinished book. While I don't know that I have plans to revive Gloop as a website, I do certainly have plans to finish the book!

I was teaching a "Microsoft Security Fundamentals" course last week. Stop laughing. The second or third day into it I decided that I needed to practice a little of what I had been preaching. Here, I had been teaching a security class all week, but hadn't really shown my students what poor security looks like. So I popped open Audrey, and went to work on the hotel's wireless network. The hotel had a secure system that required you to put in a password to connect and then your connection would time out within a few hours. This was a nice feature for an attacker because it told me that any hosts I might find on this network were active users whose traffic I might want to sniff.

The bad news is that after about two hours, I had gotten nowhere. Through some old tools like nmap I had tracked down about three active Wireless users. But all my favorite tools were bombing out on me. Ethereal? Nope. Ettercap? No way. Everything was either bombing out no me, or simply not loading. It was my own doing. I had run several Apple updates the past few weeks which had surely crippled the dependencies for my X-Windows stuff. I gave up, and went to bed.

Once I got back from Pittsburgh, I continued the fight. I went out and got the source code for all my broken tools and rebuilt them to get them running again. The latest version of Ethereal has some very nice new features.

But what am I doing this for? Oh yeah, I plan on using these. Have I decided to get back to work on this book? I guess I have. It wasn't a conscious decision. There is much to be done. I need to get Audrey's battery charging and hit the streets. I need to collect some data! I need to hit up the local coffee shops and get back into practice.

Current Mood: Pleased
Musical Inspiration: Squirrel Nut Zippers (I found their 2000 album at a used music shop for $5)


Historic Comments
I'm looking forward to more wardriving adventures. On religion, there's too many -isms in the world. Think I'll stick with what I know.
Anonymous | 07.11.05 - 10:54 pm | #

Glad to see things are turning around for you ray! I am looking forward to reading your book

~tdo@thebroken
tdo | 07.12.05 - 1:00 am | #

Being serious for once.

I have spent the last year studying buddhism in its various forms. It has been such a fantastic journey reading about how it spread from india (from Shakyamuni himself) all the way to his votary Nichiren Daishonin in Japan.

All I will say to you is this my friend. What makes us (humans) so special is that we are human in THIS lifetime for one purpose.

To finally achieve enlightenment.

I'd like to talk to you more about this if you are interested in buddhism. Shoot me an email. You have the address.

With Gassho (palms pressed)
Phrightener | 07.12.05 - 8:16 pm | #

Hey Phrighty,

I had no idea you too were a bodhisattva. I am really enjoying that first book I got from the Dalai Lama. There are a few things in there that have left me scratching my head, but I think I may end up reading it a second time.

So I guess that makes us "sangha?", eh old friend?

-Ray
Ray | Homepage | 07.20.05 - 8:47 am | #

Hitchhikers Guide To Pittsburgh

After reading a couple of Douglas Adams books, I began to pick up a few things from his writings. Number one, he hates New York. Maybe 'hate' isn't strong enough. Loathe. There's a nice word. He LOATHES new York. I suppose being Brittish that it's the complete opposite of the world he was acustomed to. I also gradually picked up that Douglas Adams was a bit of a traveler, and when he traveled he was probably highly amused by the cultures around him. This of course translates into intergalactic travel in his books. But having done some traveling you begin to unravel the parallels in his books.

This past week, I traveled to Pittsburgh PA to do a week long class in the downtown area. We had decided to book a hotel inside of downtown, despite various warnings of the 'cost' involved. Sure, it was a little overpriced. About $180 a night. But with my AAA discount, it came down to $109. That paid for a double room, a couple of TV's, a desk, a huge bedroom, and plenty of living space! There were other nice features such as a shuttle van that would take you anywhere you wanted to go, an indoor pool, and of course valet parking. Normally, we would not spring for such a ritzy hotel for work travel ... but this was a vacation too!

Being that it was a vacation, we brought the whole family along for the ride. Sometime in our second night in Pittsburgh, I found myself looking across the river. We had taken the subway just across the river to a nice tourist spot known as "Station Square". As I looked over Pittsburgh which was now beginning to glow as the night embraced it, I thought to myself "thank God I was laid off".

Audrey II Saves The Day

One of these days I'm going to get myself a new laptop. Audrey has some serious issues. She murders batteries faster than I can afford to install them. Looking around for replacement parts to rebuild her with, I can see I am going to spend a hundred dollars or so. But just when I consider retiring the old beast, she surprises me again.

Our first night in the hotel, I grabbed the bag of phone parts and began to dump it on the hotel room desk. We had brought along our Vonage box (voice over IP) and our business telephone. The idea being that we could plug it into the hotel's "data port" and have a free phone to make local calls from during the week. Plus, we could answer our business line and not have to keep checking voicemail all week. Low and behold, there was no data port. It seems the hotel is being rennovated, and would soon be turned into a "Doubletree Hotel". The data ports were no longer. They have been replaced with wireless access, which was still not yet completed. Luckily our floor had an access point, which must have been relatively nearby. Cracking open Audrey, she connected with ease and I was online.

The problem: The Vonage box plugs into a normal network port. I wanted to plug it into Audrey and make the laptop route the traffic to the wireless network. This would require a crossover cable ... and I didn't have one. I made a quick trip down to the hotel lobby and asked where that "convenience store" was that I read about in the brochure. "You mean the 7-11?", the guy asked me. "Sure", I said. In the 7-11 I found everything I needed. Nail clippers, and some tape. Back at the hotel room, I split open my cable, clipped the orange and green pairs, and wired them opposite to each other. Boom! Instant cross-over cable. Moments later Audrey was routing my phone calls. I kissed her.

A few days later my son was still bummed that his laptop didn't work. A week or so earlier he had dragged this old laptop out of my basement and asked if he could have it. I let him know that I had planned on giving it to him before, but didn't because the battery was shot. He must have a bit of his old man in him, because he spent the next day or so nursing the old Ni-Cad back to good health. Anyhow, the poor boy couldn't get the wireless access to work at all. Having a look at it I could see that his traffic was being diverted to the hotels "wireless payment system". What a load of crap! It had worked fine for a few minutes. After a few futile attempts to change his MAC address I began to wonder how it was that Audrey was still so well connected.

After having a look at what Audrey was connected to, it occurred to me that I wasn't using the hotel's wireless access at all. I was connected to some nearby point, and I had been freeloading the past few days. This explained why the signal was somewhat weak and sometimes unreliable. So I did what any respectable citizen would do. I waved my son over to that side of the room and showed him how to do wireless surveys, locate open AP's, and freeload! To this, he stood up, shook his fists in the air, and yelled "hacking power". I couldn't be more proud. The rest of the trip he was carrying the laptop around finding that it worked better in some areas than others and eventually ended up camping out under my desk to surf Pokemon and Neo Pets websites.

Incidentally, I picked up a new Hitchiker's book in Pittsburgh. It seems to be a tradition when I travel. So I will end with one of my favorite quotes.

"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws". -Mostly Harmless


Historic Comments
Way to help raise the hackers of tomorrow, Ray!
Dan | Homepage | 06.26.05 - 12:53 pm | #

Face the facts Ray, one of these days Franken-Audrey is going to pass away. You should prepare now by placing a "Donate to Audrey III" button at the top of your page. Glad to see you're posting again!
Poe | 06.26.05 - 7:10 pm | #

Heya You need to pick up Last Chance to See. A non fiction Adams book about a lot of his travels around the world looking for endangered/extinct species of animals. Great book, and gives you even more insight into what he thought about the world around him.
George | 06.27.05 - 12:47 am | #

Glad to here that all is well.
apex | Homepage | 06.27.05 - 3:01 pm | #

Apex, what have you been doing you bum?

Anyways, sup Ray? Good to see you are showin the boy a few tricks. >
Phrightener | 06.28.05 - 10:58 am | #

Ray, that is awesome.
Benzoate | 06.29.05 - 6:13 am | #

Found ya :P

How goes the blazzoring?
hobKnob | Homepage | 06.29.05 - 1:04 pm | #

Poe: You're right about that! Perhaps I should try to update and complete my book and then sell it for a few dollars a pop.

George: That book sounds dope. I have tried to find it in a couple of book stores and failed. I think I will have to order that one.

HobKnob: Where the hell have you been? Phrightener and I called off the search for you sometime back in 2000.

-Ray
Ray | 07.11.05 - 6:24 pm | #

Alive, Not Well

Ah, I am beginning to look like most people who start up a blog. They post like mad, then out of the blue they just stop. But, alas, I am still alive and I have not abandoned my blog.

I just finished up a week long stint of teaching web design to a handful of insurance company employees. It was an odd class, "CIW Site Designer". I had no idea what the course entailed, but I had nothing to teach this week (or the week before) so I jumped at the invitation. I ended up driving across town this past Friday to pick up the courseware and after leafing through it I decided that this class was right up my alley. It involved a bit of explanation for general "web" know-how like "how to write HTML" and "what's available for site hosting". But the majority of the class was spent actually training the students how to use FrontPage (barf!) and DreamWeaver. The students made their choice pretty quickly on what they would be using ... and it was Dreamweaver. I can't blame them really. It was interesting to see that the author of the student materials was a bit biased, stating things like "this feature is far easier/better in Dreamweaver".

It was one LONG week. Not because of the students or the class, they were just great. But I seem to have developed an awful sinus infection. About a week and a half ago I picked up what seemed like a light cold. But I don't get colds. And when I get something like a cold, I know what it really means. A sinus infection. Right away I started chucking down sinus pills, and washing them down with 'Tussin'. Here I am going on two weeks with this thing and I still haven't beat it. It has been utter hell going to sleep, and then waking up. And then getting the drugs in my system quick enough to keep some level of alertness. A couple of times I may have taken a bit too much of that 'Tussin'. It seems that mixing beer and Tussin gives you a really nice high. I think I ended up inadvertently taking some sort of red-neck drug concoction. But I felt really good that night. REALLY good. :-)

I tried calling into the doctors office today, and their hours are simply insane. Some days they are open 13 hours, and other days only 4. Today they were open for 4 hours and I missed them. I need antibiotics BAD. I wish you could just walk into a drug store and pick them up. But I understand why you can't.

As I was leaving the training center today, the owner stopped me in the hallway and said "I have something for you". It was a check, for the training I did there a few weeks ago. Hooray! I got paid. Along with the check I got earlier in the week, I was able to pay my bills. I know, it doesn't sound very exciting. But 'paying your bills' is always a concern when you are independent and you're not quite sure if you will ever see money for the work you have done.

So work has been steady, and good. At my current rate, I am averaging one week off a month (and four weeks teaching). This pays all my bills, and then some. In the weeks I am off I find that I am still working, but it's work that I enjoy. And being home for an entire week is great. I can sit around in my pajamas until noon. I can take my shower at 4:00PM. I can sleep in until 10:00AM. This independent stuff is great. Speaking of taking a week off, I have nothing scheduled next week! I am quite glad. I don't know that I am ever going to beat this infection. Now I can get into the doctor and get some good drugs.

Current Mood: Sick Damnitt!
Musical Inspiration: Shut up and turn it off. I don't feel good.


Historic Comments
i know you all did the gratis ipod thing but if you are looking to do another one and maybe ebay it check it out! its legit like gratis too.

http://www.tech4free.com/default...aspx? ref=401849
phrighty | 06.10.05 - 8:13 pm | #

Thats all youre bitch as has to say after Ray finally post about whats happened in his life so far. Thats a bitch thing to do.
Benzoate | 06.10.05 - 10:48 pm | #

Whadda ya mean you can't just walk in to a store and buy anitbiotics? What kind you looking for? And congrats on meeting ends with those bills. Keep it up and you might be able to afford a vacation one of these days.
Poe | 06.11.05 - 7:19 pm | #

good to have you back
LiteHedded | Homepage | 06.14.05 - 1:26 pm | #

Heh, it probably worked without the beer. Robutussin has DXM in it, which can make you trip like a motherfucker. The beer probably helped.
SiliconSnake | 06.15.05 - 4:37 am | #

You can get an ipod mini with just 4 referrals. Check this out.

http://GetiPod4Free.com/index.ph...hp? referral=281
Anonymous | 06.19.05 - 10:20 pm | #

i hate all of you ipod bitches to death
Benzoate | 06.20.05 - 6:52 pm | #

Is this where you get free iPods?
Anonymous | 06.21.05 - 10:35 pm | #

Yup, its the link above the guy complaining about ipods and calling such people who like to get them "bitches".

Hrmf.
Phrighty | 06.22.05 - 7:18 pm | #

Ironic Airline Disasters

Two weeks ago, I found myself strapped into the seat of an aircraft. I pulled my knees in tight, and could barely fit them into the confined area that would be my uncomfortable home for the next hour or so. As I waited, I watched out the window as two men pulled up in a large squarish vehicle. They pulled out a long hose and began spraying the plane down with "de-icing fluid". It looked a lot like some sort of silly movie prop. There were two large meters, one red and one green. They were labled "FUEL", and "DEICE". As they sprayed it across the wings, I hoped that they hadn't gotten the tanks mixed up. This would be my first flight, ever. The weather was horrible, and the pilot kept coming on the intercom and apologizing for the delay. We sat at the start of a short runway, waiting for several minutes. About the time I reached for my iPod, the plane suddenly jerked into gear, and shot down the runway at a hundred miles an hour. Before I knew it, I was airborne and I watched the airport shrink away.

I was on my way to Chicago, where I would rush to a second airplane which would take me all the way to California. There, I would acquire my rental car, and drive it to a hotel about 24 miles from the airport. As I sat on the plane, trying to look through the fog, I was all ready feeling out of my element. My wife and kids had dropped me off at the airport. And I was all ready calculating the time until I would be flying home to reunite with them. I was setting out for what became the lonliest week of my life. For those that travel all of the time, I tip my hat to you. Travel it seems, is not for me.

When I arrived, I found my rental car, and drove it to the hotel following the many maps and directions my wife had printed for me. Once I arrived to the hotel, I broke open my suit-case and pulled out a fine Dinty Moore dinner. I believe it was turkey and stuffing. This trip had cost us every dollar we had. About $760 in all. Seeing how I would be in California for a week, and without cash, we had decided to pack food for my trip. We had received a gift card to Meijers for an Anniversary gift, and we blew the entire $50 on my weeks worth of packable food. About half of my suit case was clothing. The other half, Dinty Moore dinners, Ramen noodles, Little Debbies, and Peanuts. It worked well. But by day two, I was beginning to miss "real food". Even more I was missing the sights and smells of home. By the end of the week, I felt like I "smelled like California". I don't know if it was the water, the dirty hotel, or the cheap no-name soap.

Monday morning I arrived to the training center in Brea California. I was about an hour and a half early, which was okay. California was three hours behind Ohio, and I was having a hard time adjusting. I got into bed about 10:00PM every night, and I was waking up at 5:00AM. Once I got into the training center, I found my way into the classroom and began to get ready for class. I had never taught the class before, but had lied to get the job. The real problem is that I lacked the funds to buy new hardware when my old computer died. So I was unable to prepare to teach the class by practicing the labs and 'demonstrations'. Every day before and after class, I would rip through the student materials and attempt to learn every lab and demonstration, so that I wouldn't look like a fool when I tried to walk them through it.

I clearly did not belong in California. This class was a bit out of my league. But, I buckled down and struggled through the week. It was only 6 days, right? Tuesday afternoon, I developed a memorable headache. A strange turn of weather brought in storms to an otherwise dry and desolate area of California. The drastic shift, had put some sort of curse upon my sinus's. Thankfully my wife had thought to pack sinus pills for me, but I had left them back at the hotel. By late afternoon, the headache had turned into a migrane, and I was doing my best to continue with the class and not vomit. I asked the students if anyone had aspirin, and one student produced a small brightly colored pill with black numbering. "It's got a little Xanex on it", he said. I shrugged, and happilly choked down the pill. Within half an hour, I was feeling noticably better. An hour later, I felt great.

By the time I got back to my hotel, I was feeling simply wonderful. I put a call in to my wife to tell her how good I was feeling, and then I headed out to explore the neighborhood. My hotel was positioned in a poor, spanish speaking community. It was not the safest place for me to wonder around, and I stuck out like a sore thumb. Just a block or two from my hotel was a 99 cent store, and a neighboring thrift shop. I ended up buying a pocket knife, a roll of electrical tape, a coax VCR cable, and a 3-liter bottle of "Dr. Stripes" soda. Back at the hotel, I watched Charlies Angel's II on HBO (one of the worst films ever made) and while it played I consumed an entire can of Pringles chips. When done, I sat down at my personal 'dining table' and crafted a make shift cantenna. It was probably the weakest cantenna I had ever created, but it allowed me to get that extra decibal or two that I desperately needed. Once connected, I was able to gain access to an access point across the street from the hotel in a shop called "Kopy Kats". The unlikely hosts provided my free wireless access for the remainder of the week.

I awoke the next morning feeling a bit on the miserable side. The can of Pringles had given me an upset stomach, and the fact that the week was not even half way over, weighed heavy on my mind. It's as if the sinking depression I was feeling before had found it's way back to me. When my students rolled in for class, the one who had given me the "aspirin" the day before asked, "so how was the Xanex?". And so it seems the aspirin that might have had Xanex on it, was actually Xanex, which might have had aspirin on it. It worked really well and I wished I had another four days worth of it.

Friday afternoon I finished class, and headed back toward my hotel. I had completed class early, and I would have all night to sit and watch cable TV. I had tried to keep myself busy every night by studying the course materials for the following day. But, I wouldn't have that to do. I couldn't call my wife, because she would be out for the next few hours having dinner with her father (for his birthday). As I drove past a local Regal Cinema theater, I jerked the wheel and headed to the ticket booth. This was opening day for the Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy - the movie. A film which I had ben waiting for since eigth grade. I got a ticket, headed into the theater, and found a nice seat.

I can't recall ever going to a movie by myself, and what I thought would make me feel better only made me more lonely. But the movie was good, and it wasted some time. I needed that. The following morning, I rushed to pack my bags. I drove to the airport, got my boarding pass and got ready to fly home. I was a bit early though. My flight was at 12:30, and it was only 8:25. I ended up marching all around the airport finally finding the Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy book. I had actually downloaded the book onto Audrey (the laptop). Yet, Audrey was not the best laptop for travel. You see, during Audreys departure from the Columbus International Airport, she had excited several security agents who had mistaken her for a bomb. In an effort to avoid such embarassment when returning home, I decided to bury Audrey deep in my suitcase. This of course left me waiting for the plane with nothing to do. Buying the book, and reading it certainly helped pass the time.

Hours later, I climbed off the plane and dashed through the airport to meet my wife and father who had come to pick me up. It was a great feeling to be on my way home. And it would be the last time that I ever ventured across the world on my own again. My wife and I had never spent much more than two days apart. Being apart for a solid week was miserable. Hanging out with my kids, and spending the next day with my wife was bliss.

The next week I would be teaching in town, and this coming week I won't be far from home. I have a couple of weeks of training work booked, and no desire or need to travel again any time soon. In fact, once the checks begin to roll in for the work I have done in the past few weeks, it will be the most money my wife and I have ever had. It will be nice to put something in the bank, make my car payments on time, and ultimately quit my part time job. Hooray!

So, it's late. I'm going to read over my materials for this coming weeks class.

Historic Comments
Hey Ray, didn't think you were still alive. Glad to see you're making ends meet. Keep writing


later,
_cipher
_cipher | Homepage | 05.08.05 - 11:55 am | #

I'm surprised that they didn't take Audrey from you. With your dongle and stuff taped on, I would have called in the bomb squad. And Jarassic park 3 is probally the worst movie ever.
Bird603568 | 05.08.05 - 11:03 pm | #

Umm... you want some Xanex?
Poe | 05.09.05 - 10:10 pm | #

Xanax makes you REALLY tired after it's main active phase of effect when taken. I don't mean sleepy - I mean you are exhausted. It's highly addictive and a really bad idea to take unless you suffer from severe panic attacks.

Fight the drug-haze people . . . Ray, drink camomile tea.
Anonymous | 05.09.05 - 10:27 pm | #

Its not that addictive and its used for more than just panic attacks. It relaxes you, similar to a valium, thats why you felt so great, your anxiety was gone. Although, I've never seen a xanax(
magikgrl | Homepage | 05.10.05 - 11:32 am | #

well, that sucked, half my comment got cut off. Anyway, never seen a bright colored xanax with black writing their usually little football shaped pills in a peach or a blue color.
magikgrl | Homepage | 05.10.05 - 11:34 am | #

Maybe it was extra strong or laced with something. :D
Poe | 05.10.05 - 12:46 pm | #

I had not been here for a while and now I feel guilty! I am glad that you have managed to land on your feet after the layoff.

Keep the entries comming!

Rich
evil rich | 05.12.05 - 9:54 am | #

Hopefully you'll read this Ray, just checking in. I found myself wondering that happened to the crew from #thebroken.

I'm glad to see you finally got out of that job.
conundrum | 05.26.05 - 2:47 am | #

Knock knock...you around?
magikgrl | Homepage | 06.10.05 - 3:05 pm | #

Landing Safely

I can see that the key to landing in a parachute is careful planning. Pulling the strap at a good time will ensure that your chute has time to open, and you will come to the ground softly. Having your chute strapped on, and checking all the various loops and buckles is equally important.

So I was laid off. I'm not sure that my metaphor spelled that out entirely. Here, I will tell the whole story.

Moneday I came to work to sit in another Novell course. My employer (past employer that is) had been eager for me to teach new Novell courses involving SuSE Linux. I was obliged to do it, because I was not looking forward to weeks and weeks of teaching Windows XP and Server 2003 courses. After having passed a couple of exams I was offically blessed by Novell and ready to go. However, after teaching the first of three courses it was obvious that I had no stories to tell about production use of this product as it was entirely new stuff ... and nobody was using it yet. Because Novell had been filling the courses with students without much help from the training center, they decided to send out their own instructors to deliver the course. There haven't been many of these courses taught, and the trainers so far had been Novell veterans who had actually sat around and wrote the curriculum (which by the way, isn't very good).

After sitting in the second course as a student a few weeks ago, I could see that it wasn't the instructor that was a problem, it was the awful curriculum. In fact, the instructor that came out seemed to have less experience with Linux than I did, and made several mistakes in explaining material to the students (which they corrected him on). And so this past Monday was the third course to be taught, and it was delivered by yet a different instructor (another Novell veteran of 12 years). This guy had it together pretty well, but was obviously struggling with the lack of material.

Novell did something awful with these three courses that are supposed to flow together like buttah'. The first five day course could be taught in two days (but was five), the second course should have been more like 8 (but was five) and the third course seemed like another two day (but was five). At any rate, the first day was VERY slow, and seemed more like review of the first two courses (only lighter) even though this was supposed to be the most dificult. Blah. Halfway through the morning, my IQ hadn't been risen and all I was getting bored. So I decided to invest my time in studying for my CISSP. At some point in the afternoon, I saw one of my colleagues standing outside of the classroom waving me out. He looked a little nervous.

"About what time do you think class will finish today?", he asked.
"Probably around four I think".
"Okay", he said, "let's meet for a few minutes if we can".

Let me tell you something about Matt. He is completely opposed to meetings. He believes any metting that runs on more than half an hour is a waste of everyones time. He also believes that having a meeting, for the sake of having a meeting, is the worst business concept EVER. I tend to agree. So the fact that he was wanting to get together, and he was noticably shaken was a sign that I may not be back for class on Tuesday. When I returned to the classroom, I checked the clock. I thought, "if I start formatting my laptop's hard drive now, it will have passed at least one low level before I have to return it". But maybe I was being silly. I waited.

After class was finished I came to grab Matt. "I finished early", I said, "you have a few minutes?". To which he replied, "I'm not really ready yet, can you give me until four?". Now I was pretty sure of what was to come. At four o' clock I stepped into a conference room to meet with Matt, the "CIO" guy, and the HR woman. I dropped my notebook on the desk, smiled, and said "Well?". I knew what was coming. They knew I knew, and I think they were probably a bit more shaken by laying me off than I was.

It seems as if it had been raining for days. I mean DAY's. We actually had floods here in Ohio from the horrible cold rain and snow mixture. But Monday afternoon, I stepped out into the light and the sunshine about blinded me. With the sun on my shoulders, a box of my laptop bags contents, and my lunch container kicking along I waltzed to my car feeling like a freed prisoner. These past few weeks I have wondered how I might escape this company to do something different. How could I go work for myself, and not be sued under my non-compete contract with that prison? Laying me off was probably the greatest thing to happen to me in years. While I still have to abide by my non-compete contract, my previous employer has expressed their "understanding" in this matter. They would like for me to call them about work that I get, and clear it with them first. I understand. They don't want me competing with them in this area. That's fine mby me. I can travel!

Before I walked out the door I tried unsuccessfully to get my wife on the phone. So once I arrived to Best Buy to work my second job I got on the "Free Phone" inside. "Remember when I asked you how you would feel about me working for myself?" I asked he. "Yeah", she said, "I'll support it. Why?". "Well ... because from today forward, I work for myself!".

"You were fired?".
"Fired is a strong word. More like ... laid off".
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah"
"Oh my God"
"Yeaaah ... but it's all good, right? I didn't like that job anyway".

Sounding a little broken spirited, she replied "we'll figure it out ... we always do". And then I went to work doing my usual Geek Squad stuff. Tomorrow will be a new day, I thought.

The following morning I hopped out of bed, dashed to the basement and got right to work on my resume and bio. In fact, I wouldn't finish it until late that night. But by Wednesday I was shooting it out like a madman to anyone that would take it. By Thursday I had made contact with two training brokers, and landed a job with (of all people) my OLD employer. Yeah, crazy isn't it?

I don't like to burn my bridges. In fact, I doused this bridge with water, and sprayed it down with a flame retarded coating. When I was laid off, I shook hands with the HR woman and CIO guy before slipping away with Matt. Matt and I were co-workers, but also good friends. Being appointed the "training manager" he had his first duty which was to lay me off. I felt really bad for the guy, becuase I could see that he didn't agree with the decision, and hell ... we were buds. He extended an offer of writing me a letter of recommendation, and I offered to send him my resume and keep in touch.

Just a day later, I was e-mailing everyone I had been working with on various projects to keep them moving. After all, these people knew me, and I do good work! I could probably get some return business with them rather easily. And I did. I have booked an A+ class on the 18th, and I will be getting paid contractor rates. Let me tell you friends, those rates are pretty respectable. If I work two weeks a month at what I will be making in a week from now, I will only have to work two weeks a month (and actually make a little more).

Sure there are downsides to this "working for yourself". Like, "paying your own taxes", and "coming up with insurance". My wife has all ready worked to find the same insurance I had with my previous employer for a little less cost. Amazing. I called my father (the CPA) who says "keep a quarter of every dollar in a savings account, and you will be fine".

It's all working out! Really! Now, I have to get back to work. Being unemployed is like ... a lot of work and stuff! More to come.

Current Mood: The Glass is Half Full!
Musical Inspiration: No Music! I might miss a phone call.


Historic Comments
Well I am gald to hear that things are looking up for you. I remember you from thebroken and a lot of guys still talk about you once and while over a computerhelpforum.org.

I don't have your nack for writting but reading your blog made me want to start my own. Thanks and again congrats on landing on your feet. Not a lot of people can do that after being laid off.
Bobo | Homepage | 04.05.05 - 12:12 pm | #

Now watch the beauty of the flaming plane crashing into the ground. Just remember to put money away for taxes. Taxes are hell.
Poe | 04.05.05 - 6:51 pm | #

This makes sense. If you flipped out when you got layed off then they might have presed charges if you set fire. It's like when somebody calls you an asshole and you say ok thanks your your input.
Bird603568 | 04.05.05 - 9:45 pm | #

Hey, I haven't been avoiding you about the webhosting stuff, but not to long ago I was laid off as well. So, lately i've been trying to setup a business, as well as lay the ground work for another. I apologize, my friend is being a dick about it... but i'll convince him!
Apex | Homepage | 04.05.05 - 10:15 pm | #

Hey dude - you completely skipped over the bit where the HR Girl and CIO give you the bad news! Come-on, give us the detail . . . jumping straight to a weather report at the crucial moment was insensitive.
Anonymous | 04.05.05 - 10:20 pm | #

Thats great Ray, now you can finally be happy with what your doing and make some money! At least your happy thats all that matters.
magikgrl | Homepage | 04.06.05 - 12:24 pm | #

Good to hear that things are going well for you Ray. Ol' Uncle Phrighty knew you'd pull out in time and deliver. Keep the faith brother and remember you come from a family of the best phreakers to have ever existed.

If anyone out there is ever looking for work do check out local Credit Unions and their IT department. Sure, the pay isnt top notch but I will tell you that you can NOT fuck with the benefits. They pay for themselves a million times over. Plus, Credit Unions never get bought out, they are just "acquired" so there is never a fear of losing your job due to a corporate merge/takeover.

Just my two cents. Kiss the wife for me.

- Uncle Phrighty - Credit Union Sys Admin
Uncle Phrighty | 04.07.05 - 3:49 pm | #

That is great news dude! I wish I could get laid off from my job too. I am glad to hear that you are a free man. Good luck!
Mogwai | Homepage | 04.08.05 - 2:33 pm | #

Good luck on your new business ventures.
JT | 04.08.05 - 9:37 pm | #

Er ... hello? Twenty three days since the last post. Way to treat your readers!
Anonymous | 04.28.05 - 1:44 am | #